Random Piece Of Advice (RPOA): Learn To Accept Criticism..... They really do care

I'm posting this because I have noticed an influx of people who absolutely refuse to accept any sort of criticism what-so-ever, usually chalking it up to an excuse that the people hate them and "Haters gonna hate" (dear FSM that hurt to type)

I want to clear up any misunderstanding people may have that critics = hate. That is not the case, in fact, that equation is false.

You see, when someone hates you, they usually hate you for a reason. Be it jealousy, personality clashes, the perception of right and wrong, one has been spoiled, you look different, act different, or you are not what they perceive to be "normal", then that's all they can throw at you. Nothing but hate and venom will come from them and whilst it may hurt to hear it at times, you can normally shrug it off and carry on your daily plan.

Critics though, they're completely different. They do care for you and point out your flaws in order for you to improve of them. However, these days all the new 'critics' seem to think that they should just keep pointing flaw after flaw and not praise someone/something where credit is due (yes film critics, I'm looking at you. Roger Ebert was a fair and wonderful critic, probably the only one to be 100% genuine too)

For instance, I know that I don't follow it, but look at sports. Usually the criticism about one player more than the other drives them to become better and better, a critic will write "This players game was one of the best this season, however his defence was a little lacking which gave way to some mistakes being made" The player in particular will read that and think back to his games, realise he needs to up his defence and will do for the next season. Same critic writing about the player will then say something like "The players defence has really improved over the last season, he has really grown as a person and as a team-mate. However his stamina through-out the season has become sub-par, resulting in him being substituted out more matches than he cares to admit." The player will then focus on improving his fitness level, becoming exponentially better than he was a mere 2 seasons ago.


If that player had just read all the negative points, then he would have just plain quit after the first season. But the fact that the critic had praised him when he improved his performance after the flaws were pointed out to him that shows the player that the critic really does care about the person.

When it comes to anybody, and I do mean anybody trying something. Be it University, fitness, sports, music, photography, drawing, improving their own social life, heck even dieting, then I urge you. No, in fact I beg you.

LISTEN TO YOUR CRITICS

They are the the ones that love you. Yeah family and friends will encourage you, but that's part of their job. Critics usually remain impartial and offer help/advice without you even asking for it.

They are not there to throw hate at you, or pick on you, or subject you to relentless psychological bullying. They are there to help you realise your flaws in what you are doing. By doing that they expect you to, at the very least, attempt to improve. If you show them that you are improving, their respect for you will increase too.  It is when you are screwing up so badly and no-one, not even your critcs, are saying anything.... That's a very bad place to be as it means that everyone has just given up on you.

Except the haters as they will relentlessly push you down even further.

Motivation, Madness and Metal

Well, I've been meaning to write a blogpost along these lines for quite some time now... So here goes.
One thing I have seen a lot of on MFP is people asking for motivational music, yet when I read the post they're all asking for something with a beat to work out to. To me, that's not really motivation, I mean it is... but not what I perceive to be motivational.
 True motivation tells you to get out of bed and Carpe the fuck out of the Diem, it tells you that you *CAN* better yourself, you *WILL* better yourself and it will *HELP* better yourself too. All of this, I find coming from Power Metal.
Sure it's fast and powerful (clue's in the name there) and not to everyones taste, but even if you just read the lyrics, it can get you in the mindset of wanting to accomplish so, so much. In fact, here are some sample lyrics

• Masterplan - Spirit Never Die: "I'll never give up - never give in. Won't stop believing cause I'm gonna win. Sing with my soul before I get old, Cause there may be no tomorrow. There is no limit to what can be done, Climbing the mountain with power so strong. Dusty roads - down the way, Leaving the future behind me"
• Stratovarius - Find Your Own Voice: "Find your own voice, Unleash the power within. Go find your own truth and let others be. Let your own light guide your way through life. Find your own way, Make your own paradise"
• Sonata Arctica - Victoria's Secret "Dancing on the path and singing now you got away. You can reach the goals that you have set from now on , every day. There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past. Life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it is not a secret"

3 songs that are guaranteed to get me motivated to the point of wanting to make more of my life, my health and fitness. They all belong to the music Genre of Metal and they're all awesome.
 So if you're looking for motivation, looking for powerful songs to get right into your soul and move you... emotionally and physically, then Power Metal is where it's at.... or at least it is for me.

Where to begin??

Where to begin....

I used to be quite the handsome chappy. Average build with some muscle definition, good teeth, great hair & the bluest eyes on a 17 year old. Then shit got real & I just got depressed. Nothing too bad like threatening my own life or anything like that, but motivation left me..... I wasn't in a happy job or relationship, so I just gave in.

And you know what, I was comfortable with that.

I was comfortable being lazy, slobbish, over-weight and unfit. Because I was open & myself.

Now, I'm on a long journey, which started off as a small cliff face, levelling out to a gentle slope before *BAM!!!!* Brick wall. Now, I'm the kind of guy who can stare at a brick wall for hours trying to figure out how to get over it or look for a gate through it. But this one stretches beyond the horizons to my left and right. I can see the sun before midday, but after that it's eclipsed by the wall.

I had reached my point of no progress.

Until now....
I have a small crowd of supporters that help me out. They yell encouragement when I climb & offer condolences when I fall What I really need is a belay team, to help me continue even when I fall.
And I know that'll happen soon

I've got goals that need to be met. Who wants to help me?

Well.... That escalated quickly

Greetings, you lovely minions.

So, as most of you are aware (and if you're not, just scroll back through time... it's amazing) I've been feeling a tad down in the dumps lately.

Although if you were to look at me, you wouldn't see it.

Anyways, back onto the right subject now :-) The impossible has happened... I have a girlfriend. Now, I know what you're thinking and it's along the lines of "Big-whoop ¬_¬" But for me, this is a huge deal as I had pretty much resigned myself to singledom for the foreseeable future, and then literally out of no-where we got talking.

As far as first dates go, it started off a disaster, with both of us arriving late (although one of us later than the other) the "date-plan" getting chucked out of the window, except for one tiny part, which was to view Birmingham from the Hyatt Hotel... We didn't have a room, we just wandered in and looked out the main windows. But a little food, a little alcohol, and a little metal music and we were both relaxed, smiling and having fun.

Then things went on from there.

Now, I'm not normally one to enjoy receiving a lot of presents for my birthday, or for valentines (Birthday on the 13th, Valentines on the 14th... just too much) but any girlfriend who can get jokey presents such as an inflatable zimmer-frame, a kitchen apron with blow-up-bewbs, a back scratcher (or 'any-body-part-scratcher' for that matter) and a little 'Dick'-y bow tie (guess where it goes... That's right, and for that, you get 5 internet points. Spend 'em wisely) and still find time to come over, let me cook & just relax. That's the sign that things will be good.

And things have not only been good, they've been great.

My dad's hip is getting a lot better, over Christmas I was seeing him going from crutches to sticks, to stick. Going for walks along the shore & just becoming more active & independant. My sisters cancer was removed with no complications, She may have a fairly large scar along her jawline and a hole where the tumour was, but a small price to pay for what could have been something serious. (besides, she's my sister & I love her :-) ) Uni is going well, and I'm making steps to become a paramedic. Just need to convince them that I am worthy enough to be on the course. My enthusiasm is indirectly proportional to my grades.

So, Thank you, so far, 2013. You've treated me better than 2012 ever did.

Peace Out

-C